When the Dew Drops

I am Thankful, grateful and appreciate all the people who slightly hurt to deeply hurt me. Why? Well Here’s the thing, whether you believe in God or not. This is a step in forgiveness. No this doesn’t mean these people have to be in your life or even say it to them. Depending on how bad it really was may not be safe to even do so. The point is to heal your wounds and compassion for what you went through.

For me, this means recognizing all the suffering, pain, sadness, fear, lost relationships were something good. Wild concept, stick with me. It is part of the process of letting go. Noticing the lessons and what good came out of it. I could sit down in defeat and list all the horrors my heart and soul went through. The betrayals on a next level that makes one believe evil is a very real thing.

The flip side to this is facing those monsters internally and saying “hey thanks for that. I am now wiser and stronger for what happened.” I would have never questioned myself and searched for things to “fix” myself through all the gas-lighting and abuse. I learned about projections, and oh boy am I ever a canvas theater screen for many.

Instead of being baffled and confused, the internal knowing that wasn’t true but I “loved” them and they said it. It must be true right? No. The short answer is no. Long answer I played a part in reacting lower than I am worth. Allowed things I knew were not true to hurt me. I desperately tried to change myself over and over to please a person who was never satisfied, until one day I looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize myself. Not just that, it didn’t stop there. It went several more years of deeply confusing and hurtful words.

I learned how to articulate myself better. Learned how important communication is. Learned what abusive behaviors were in relationships of all kinds convinced I was the problem. As I learned, while yes I did have work to do, I wasn’t who those people said. Now, I knew who they were and why no matter what I said or did would never have mattered. The wealth of knowledge, the drive to learn more to not give up was created through the pain. Seeing people for who they truly are and what I am.

Boundaries I learned to slowly establish. For a discussion another day, but learning what boundaries are and are not and how to truly apply them and not fumble about clumsy and ignorant.

What matters MOST, I forgive myself for not knowing and loving anyway even long after the pain has dulled. Different kind of love formed, not one that runs to every text or bows to each command. A compassion and knowing I was never the weak one. I never needed to control anyone and to survive what I did is and was extremely powerful. So again, thank you to the people who hurt me. I am grateful and appreciate you. Just not in the way you probably wanted. You helped me heal wound and seal open walls I did not know were there. Crushed my dreams, so I could form new better ones. Thank you.

May you find the way out and shift perspectives towards a better future you.

Sometimes things we see and cross in life can be like a weed, or a childhood wish.

View it as something bad in your story, or turn it into something you can make something from.

Like a dandelion, make it yours and set seeds into the wind of your story.

Begin to Speak Work-book/coloring book purchase here / or here to the website page for previews and free video.