As the title of this post conveys, I been thinking a lot lately during my resting period about society as a whole and the different sub categories. Just as example of what I been looking at; gamers, church groups, tarot, political, different groups like that. I found myself utterly baffled, disgusted, confused and concerned at different times. Sure, basically making my own judgments on matters, but anyone giving a commentary or giving an opinion on a matter is good or bad is judging. Semantics.

If you been around me long enough, you more than likely know I am pretty silly at times but very pedantic, which also can be funny to onlookers I suppose. While I don’t personally take a solid political stance for any party… obviously I look at things from a moral stand point on things and whether it harms people or what option is the least damaging. As any reasonable person should do. However if one spends a decent amount of time observing social media platforms, you might get the impression everyone is out for themselves, completely unhinged, or even unreasonable on a level that I can’t discern if its dark humor deflection or a truth slipping from their lips like a Freudian slip.

Either way my opinion in the bigger picture really means nothing and probably not many but about fifty of you in this whole world is even paying attention to what I write. I would have been just fine with helping one person so hello, I am glad you’re getting something out of coming here. Back to my pondering though…

I considered myself to be a good person over all, decently high morals, but I have my moments as I am still human. We all are, but I am concerned that there is an overwhelming amount of people that lack basic education, are unaware of how mentally disconnected from reality they’ve become, or newly awakened to happenings everywhere that they’re on the verge of a mental breakdown. And yes, there’s also the jerk faces that take pleasure in milking all those things for a laugh or content by baiting them. Don’t care much about the last one as there is also people like that. Used to call them snobs or bullies depending on the actions.

Anyway, all the groups I mention before have similar elements; the fanatics, the fakes, the practical, the screw loose and fell into the deep end, and so on. I don’t really care for the blanketing of everyone that participates in said groups are all like the loudest obnoxious ones, we all know that isn’t how it is yet someone we have created a narrative online that is how it is. Take anyone from any of these groups one on one (not talking about the extreme ones) and you will find they’re pretty darn normal, reasonable human beings. So I guess what I am wondering is why all the blanket hate. Maybe I just don’t fit in to social norms enough to fully comprehend or understand it.

What I am going to say next, you’ll probably figure out some of the garbage information I have recently crossed paths with to ponder everything. Let me just say it, if a person kills their kids, admits to it, all evidence says they did it. Why on earth would anyone defend killing kids? Deeper level of disturbing is people trying to relate to it like its socially acceptable to murder, not in self defense, murder children. I wanted to help people, but I see some people are beyond help. I find it extremely sad. I have not once thought it a good idea EVER to harm a child, especially my own. Obviously I have had ptsd prior to giving birth to my kids. So what the devil am I looking at? Should we make huge mental facilities? Should we ship these people to some remote location so they can act out and fulfill their sickness of reality away from society? Is there a possible reform of mental process we can engage them with to help them understand how wrong and sick it truly is that they are supporting?

I get it no one wants to feel stupid or the bad guy. But gosh dang folks, can we seriously chill for a minute and actually think about the crap you’re going to say before you make a video and share it with the world?

I just don’t get it. I really don’t. Especially the moms out there saying they can empathize with it. HOW?? Really how? Is that a set up so you can deny accountability one day when you harm your loved one? I could say a lot of vulgar things, I am really trying to restrain myself. I feel very strongly about harming kids and elderly. I hear people say that or kind of talk like I do; using words like I feel…x. You realize people who talk like that been to behavioral therapy or has spent time around it enough to take on the language. However, its meant to not point blame at people while expressing emotions. Its not a gateway to excuse yourself for things because of emotions. Facts, and reality still matter despite your feelings. I will admit I am irked how many people are using “ its my gut feeling or my intuition” as I just know it. No, no, no, no, that is clearly not intuition that is something else entirely. I don’t know what the living crud I am witnessing but that is not intuition.

I could probably yammer on about this and my disturbed peace for the moment. But meh. The worlds full of scammers, crazies, and people taking advantage of people everywhere. I am guessing hoping for fame or a quick buck. Speaking of which, you’re wasting your time trying to log into my website. There is no money. You probably make more in a day than I have all year, so just save yourself time and move on. I would love there to be money, make my life a heck of a lot easier. I am not even the one paying for the website, literally no benefit from going after me besides to get the knowledge or ponder thoughts I write about. Most people with print on demand or writing books don’t make much money, look it up. Seriously.

In a perfect world, people would think before they speak and comprehend the things they say and do. I just don’t know anymore. If you read this far, should I trying making basic education for adults to learn not just kids? I been working on remaking the game I been working on for five years in case I can’t recover my external drive it was on, which takes money I just don’t have. I really don’t fit in in this world driven by doing everything for money and willing to do anything to get it. Yes need money to thrive in this world, but besides my shops in hopes to fund myself in some way due to my circumstances… its all free. Free version of the coloring book, this blog. I guess finances came up when I heard people put together a million dollar for a murderer that admits guilt. I am just so confused and taken back how people support everything so ass backwards now. I am at a loss… who knows maybe I am just in another mental fog and in a few days things will look different and better.

Right now things feel like people just took a jog into a rose bush on purpose

and said weeee look at the pretty colors. While we all just look at it and do nothing.