Whether talking about a couple, partner in business, marriage, dating, friends, or family; parents, cousins, aunts, uncles, kids. Those are all relationships, even the person at the grocery counter you see when you go shopping. At different level of relationship determines how much they get to know about you.

A lot of relationships get the closeness muddled and share too much or too little and can lead to many problems and pain we did not see coming. Or sometimes we did see it coming but have not broken the cycle. This is why its so important to work on yourself. You can not come to a relationship expecting to have a good one if you can not face and repair the one you have with yourself. That includes how you talk to yourself and how you talk to other people.

If you’re asking how, well Besides this blog giving insight as one of many avenues to do this the work-book “Begin to Speak” I wrote was specifically written to help guide and repair the relationship we have with ourselves and others. How you move in the world is up to you, but there are guides out there if you really want to change. If you like having reminders or need some travel ready tips for anxiety, there is also a matching tool card set that I created to compliment the work-book. (And yes, I own both myself too. I created a lot of the things I have because past me needed them and it wasn’t there. and wanted to provide so someone else that might be in need like my past self could have the opportunity I didn’t.)

Let’s assume you have done a lot of work on yourself. And no you do not have to be alone to fix yourself. In fact I encourage you to find a friend or partner or love interest, whatever is a positive influence to be there for you. You can only get so far on your own.

Think of it this way, you can read a million books or watch videos on how to do something but until you are actually practicing that skill and gaining experience, you really don’t know.

Relationships are the same as any other skill. It takes devotion, time, practice, and if you get lazy about it and slack off it will far apart. Just like building a home. You can build a bunch of homes, but you get cheap, cut corners that home is going to fall apart because you didn’t take the time to put quality work and materials into making it last.

This means, realize if you truly love someone you accept ALL of them, not parts and the rest you can fix later. ALL. If they change and grow, you either grow with them or you move on to a relationship that you can grow with. That doesn’t mean every-time you don’t align with your person to leave find someone else. No. That happens when the issues that arise are no longer repairable. It happens. Some people have zero desire to be a better version of themselves no matter how much you want them to. Its okay to let go and do what is best for you.

That being said, in a good relationship and loved for all of you and vice versa, its a whole lot easier to trust and communicate everything. All the emotions, wants, desires, pain, sadness, anger. A person who truly loves you may not be perfect but they will listen and apologize when necessary.

There is a lot of dysfunctional relationships out there now a day’s. We tell too much to the wrong people, instead of our partner. That’s cheating ya all. You might not be sharing a bed but you’re sharing your heart. If you are telling someone something you can’t tell your partner, that is a problem.

If you’re telling something emotional, and you haven’t told your partner. Ask yourself why you can do that? What makes you seek this in someone else? How can you bring this to your partner instead? You chose them and they chose you. Either choose them fully and heal together or stop messing around and hurting other people. Your partner deserves you fully present with them and vice versa. No one else should have that. No one, well except God. You know what I mean.

Still clueless? Go watch Adams family television series and see how they treat each other. Full acceptance, always showing love, there for one another no matter what anyone else thinks. That is healthy. Be authentically you and let them be themselves too. Even if its licking the cheese off chips before eating them. Or wearing clothes that looks silly or sexy or excessively modest, if it make s them happy and secure – why the heck you making it a problem? Is their happiness a problem for you? Because if so that is a whole bigger issue and you need professional help.

You are special and so are they. Don’t try to change other people for some fake life. Who cares what other people think, if you or whomever relationship you’re thinking of is happy, why does it matter? No one is happy pretending, except maybe actors getting paid to do so… but I have a feeling they are not happy either until they get home and can be themselves too.

Take the time to value the people around you, especially your partner. You might just find that all that worry about what everyone else thinks is pointless. Especially if you look at all the crazy things coming out about famous people or politicians… why the heck anyone would want to thrive to be like that is beyond me. Treasure each other more, even if its something you don’t like, this world would be extremely boring if everyone was the same and liked all the same things.

And if you can’t, let them go where they will be valued.

Love yourself and love other people for who they really are.

Like the thyme in the image, bloom into the best you

and create beautiful relationships in your life. It’s time.

Begin to Speak Work-book/coloring book purchase here / or here to the website page for previews and free video.